Portfolio > Biogen Idec > Copywriting and information architecture (2004) > Content Pain Relief
Content Pain Relief (case study)
For more about my CPR services, visit my Services page.
Pain
The client's copy on the cover of the brochure used internal lingo ("Offering Summary," "MSM") and provided no address for the property. 		Relief
I wrote a more memorable name for the facility, added an attention-getting headline, and revised the bullets to include all of the property's main selling points.
Offering Summary

GMP Biopharmaceutical Manufacturing Facility

  • 5,500 L GMP mammalian cell culture bioreactor capacity
  • Turn-key facility in excellent condition ready for biopharmaceutical production operations
  • FDA and EMEA licensed facility for commercial supply of RITUXAN and ZEVALIN

Biogen Idec MSM Facility
San Diego, California
Torreyana Manufacturing Facility

> Available now for sub-lease <
  • Dual 2,750 liter GMP mammalian cell culture bioreactor capacity
  • Available with installed equipment for immediate turn-key manufacturing use
  • Fully-integrated, FDA and EMEA licensed, proven track record
  • Prime location in San Diego’s famous biotechnology community
Torreyana Manufacturing Facility
11011 Torreyana Road
San Diego, California

Pain
The copy was wordy and grouped in large, imposing blocks of text without headlines or sub-heads.
Relief
I simplified and shortened the copy and added a headline and sub-heads to highlight the main selling points.
As a result of the recent merger to form Biogen Idec, an immediate opportunity exists to sub-lease a turn-key FDA and EMEA licensed GMP biopharmaceutical manufacturing facility complete with installed bioreactors and utilities. The 5,500L mammalian cell culture facility is production-ready, including required permits and validated utilities.

For companies needing capacity to manufacture monoclonal antibodies or recombinant proteins for clinical trials and/or commercial supply, this facility represents an unparalleled opportunity to establish manufacturing capacity quickly and with little or no capital investment.		 A rare opportunity!

Dual 2,750 liter bioreactor capacity
This GMP facility in San Diego has capacity for large-scale manufacture of monoclonal antibodies or recombinant proteins for clinical trials and/or commercial supply. The facility is currently configured with one seed train, dual 2,750-liter production bioreactors, and one purification and formulation train.

Turn-key, licensed facility
Production ready, FDA and EMEA licensed, with all required permits and validated utilities, the building will require little or no capital investment by a tenant or buyer in need of immediate start-up.

Pain
The copy lacked color and detail, and used obscure acronyms.
Relief
I added detail (e.g. distance from San Diego), inserted adjectives ("pleasant," "spacious,") and spelled out the acronyms.
The MSM facility is conveniently located to I-5, La Jolla, and Del Mar. The two-story structure is sited on 10.6 acres, including a multi-level parking facility with 181 spaces. The building currently accommodates a workforce of approximately 160 employees.

In addition to having a temperate climate and a wide array of nearby recreational activities, San Diego is one of the country’s leading centers for biotechnology. World-class universities, research institutes, and leading companies in close proximity include UCSD, TSRI, Salk, Burnham, Johnson & Johnson, Pfizer, Schering Plough, and over 100 biotechnology companies. Life science companies in the area also benefit from a quality employment base and a business-friendly public sector.
 Pleasant, spacious, convenient
The two-story building sits on 10.6 acres in beautiful La Jolla, only 16 miles up the coast from San Diego and convenient to I-5 and Del Mar. Its size and amenities, including a multi-level parking facility with 181 spaces, easily accommodate a 160-person workforce.

Strategically located in San Diego
In addition to its superb climate and many recreational opportunities, San Diego is well known for its large, highly skilled biotechnology labor force and business-friendly public sector. Top local universities, institutes, and companies include the University of California at San Diego, The Scripps Research Institute, the Salk Institute, the Burnham Institute, Johnson & Johnson, Pfizer, Schering Plough, Merck and more than 100 biotechnology companies.

Pain
One section of copy mixed different categories of "air handling units" in a single long list that was hard to read.
Relief
I grouped the "air handling units" by category and added sub-heads for easier scanning and comprehension
The GMP manufacturing area is supported by eight separate air handling units and comprises the following functional areas:
  • Cell Culture Inoculum Preparation (Class 10,000)
  • Cell Culture (Class 100,000)
  • Media Preparation (Class 100,000)
  • Buffer Preparation (Class 100,000)
  • Glasswash and Equipment Preparation (Class 100,000)
  • Primary Purification (Class 100,000)
  • Final Purification and Formulation (Class 10,000)
  • Cell Banking Area with separate controlled access (Class 10,000)
  • Bulk Processing Area with separate controlled access (Class 10,000)
The GMP manufacturing area is supported by eight separate air handling units and comprises the following clean room areas:

Class 10,000

  • Cell Culture Inoculum Preparation
  • Final Purification and Formulation
  • Cell Banking Area with separate, controlled access
  • Bulk Processing Area with separate, controlled access

Class 100,000

  • Dispensing, Glass Wash and Equipment Preparation
  • Cell Culture and Media Preparation
  • Purification and Buffer Preparation

Pain
The 'call to action' was uninspiring, hard to scan, and did little to advertise the associated Web site.
Relief
I added a headline, formatted the text for easier scanning, and added text to make the associated Web site more attractive.
[Biogen Idec real estate agency] has been retained by Biogen Idec to identify prospective tenants for the facility. For additional information, please contact [agent] at [agency] [phone #; e-mail address] or visit the offering web site at [URL].
 Contact Us Today!


Call or e-mail
To learn more about this unique opportunity, contact [agent] at [agency], the firm Biogen Idec has retained to talk to potential tenants and buyers.

    [agent], [title], [agency]
    Phone: [phone #]
    E-mail: [agent e-mail]

Visit our Web site
The Web site for this special offering features additional photographs and specifications of the facility, a floor plan and a map of the San Diego area.
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